New Years and Resolutions.

I have been thinking a lot about the new year, which is approaching, slightly in my peripheral vision but very much there in bold with an exclamation point behind it. I will be 28 next year.. and in one week I will be able to say that I will be 29 next year.

I have some new year resolutions, of course, but more than that I have some ideas on ways I can live a fuller life. I am happy right now and I could go on like this quite happily, living my daily life, taking care of my children and loving my husband and having more children and just riding the wave of business that all of these people create. But I think the thing I am realizing is that, that is no longer enough for me.

As with so many things in life, I believe I have come to the realization of how affective I am be if I simply make the choice to be so.

I lived that way many years ago, but my life was smaller back then and so it was on a different scope. And also, the fears and worries I had back then were, I don't want to say silly, but they were adolescent in a way I suppose. "Adolescent" is probably a meaner way of saying silly now I think about it.

Always trying to be very careful not to upset past me.

It used to take me so much courage just to speak out, or even do something like offer someone my seat on the bus or smile at a stranger. I somehow thought I would look so foolish if they sneered at my effort to be sincere. I thought people looked through me, when I was a child and the act of stepping out and talking when no one had solicited information from me, seemed risky.

Of course now, years on, I know different. Time and experience have given me confidence and so the problems I face today seem a little more over whelming.

Taking up a new hobby when I am so busy... taking on a project that has no creative outcome accept teaching me more about a subject I have always been curious... Trying to make it my business to know more. Expand my mind and increase my intellect with no Bachelors Degree in sight and no accommodation from respected peers.

Can I be brave enough to do the things I want to do even if no one ever knows I did that? Or do I need the recognition of everyone who knows me in order to feel worthwhile?

With this in mind my New Years Resolutions are as follows:
1. .Continue with my piano lessons
2.Knit scarf for my Mum's Birthday and send it to her on time.
3. Start to write a critical study on The Bible; Is it the word of God? Write a pros and cons account - reasons people give for it's authenticity and against it. Write a history of the text itself, the trail that takes it apparently in tact, on a 2,000 year journey onto our shelves and who translated it and how we know people didn't fiddle with the content and concepts.
4. Volunteer to help Joyce in her business Brightside Arts.
5. Seek out a singing teacher for singing lessons
6. Learn and cook one brand new meal per month for my family from my vast aray of cookbooks.
7. Write more.
8. Be more creative in general. Sketch, make jewelry, paint with the kids.. design.. DO!